Positivity (with a nice side of Pretentiousness)

You know what I can’t deal with. Serial complainers.

Now I am someone who likes to vent my anger with other people. Give me a topic and I could run with it for hours. But when one person complains about the same problems day-in-day-out, you become a problem with me.

Despite appearances, I do try to look for the good in people and try to send good things out into the universe. But people who are so pissed off for every second of every day…bleh! How can you choose to be that negative all the time! And yes, I do believe they choose to be! Because absolutely no one can be perpetually annoyed over life’s every details when we are surrounded by so much beauty and positivity. If someone does something to piss me off, I make a conscious choice there and then: Do I let it get to me, or do I brush it off? 

But anyway, now to end this preach-y, self-important blog with a preach-y, self-important message: Don’t worry, be happy, cause every little ting, is gonna be alright. (Copyright issues?)

Also, a quick shout out to Jenny Mac who will read this because she loves me. Jenny, I love you too!

Nonsense.

And now for something completely different. I was digging through my external hard drive when I found what I am about to share with you.

So, basically when I was younger I loved writing little poems, but hated that people had to overanalyse poetry. I mean, I once spent an entire A Level English Literature lesson analysing the choice of an author who called a character: Mother. Could it possibly be because she was the main character’s mother?!? So I started writing poetry that was complete and utter nonsense because it was to be enjoyed simply for its language and nothing else. So I share with you a poem from 14-year old Michael: 'Nonsense'.

A day at the seaside, as normal as “neigh”,

Was ruined by Nonsense, who was coming to play.

She skipped from the sea, in the arms of the Llama.

Whilst bouncing on eggshells, which were stole from the Farmer.

“You ought to be careful” said a voice from the shed.

“The Guitar’s on the warpath and you’ll lose your head.”

“But I don’t understand,” said the Llama to I.

“He can’t lose his head if his head’s in a pie.”

So they ran and they ran, till the Pancake did twirl,

Then fell from the sky, a young emerald girl.

She warned that this nonsense had gone round the bend,

I think she was right. So this poem, I’ll end.

Bacon: The Cure

You know what is the perfect cure for the night before? I wouldn’t know. I never go out. BUT! What is the perfect cure for a night of watching Nurse Jackie and a morning of playing vintage Tomb Raider…is the bacon sandwich! [insert angelic harps and a choir of cherubs here]

The bacon sandwich, or ‘sarnie’ if you wish, is probably the greatest creation of modern Man. Thick salty rashes of bacon between soft white bread all oozing with melted butter and sauces.

 Note: I wanted a picture of a bacon sandwich here, but bacon just isn't photogenic. So here is a delightful cartoon instead. Enjoy.

There is no perfect recipe for the sandwich. It’s down to personal taste. Some like mustard; some like mayonnaise; some like brown sauce; others, red. Some people prefer there bacon on a baguette. There are even those strange people that will eat their bacon on brown bread. These people probably had traumatic childhoods and it would be advisable to leave them alone.

I am a simple man. 2 slices of white bread with butter, ketchup on one side and three slices of thick cut, smoked bacon. Slap it together, cut it in half. Done.

Honestly, I just don’t understand you vegetarians.

Nostalgia and Video Games: 'SAVE IT!'

Ooh, I have been writing a lot of TV Character blogs lately, haven’t I? Well, as they say: “Now for something completely different.”

I love replaying old video games. I much prefer it to playing new ones! Yes, the graphics are shoddy and the gameplay is awful, but it always brings back so many memories.

 

As a child, my mum used to work all day Sunday. So I would go round to my best friend’s house and play Tomb Raider with her, her sisters and her mum. We would sit all day on the living room floor and my friend’s mum would make us an amazing Sunday dinner. I remember playing the St. Francis Folly level in the first Tomb Raider and everyone getting so stressed out because we couldn’t make the jumps. We would spend hours in a room stuck on puzzles and the relief when you finally cracked it (only to get killed and have to start again…) The entire day was the highlight of my week and playing Tomb Raider was a tradition we carried on right up to the last game. Now living at university, it pains me to know that when I play the next game, I won’t have Trish screaming ‘SAVE IT’, or Ruby asking for her turn, or Emily saying “I can do the first Tomb Raider in a day”! Why would I not want to play those games and remember those memories?

I've grown up watching the evolution of a game series, so why wouldn't I love to go back and see the origins of it? Those games were classics for a reason! Not just that, but they are also still challenging! I still have to skip the London levels and Tomb Raider 3 because I simply cannot do them! Even the Tomb Raiders that I can do in a day (namely Chronicles), there are parts I still struggle on. I will say I believe this to be because the games are hard, and is no fault of the gameplay!

 

So, yes. I’ll play Assassin’s Creed and Call of Duty. But nothing will ever beat those days of sitting on the living room, watching a badly pixelated Lara Croft perform superhero jumps and shooting something resembling a dinosaur.

And as a side note: WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO SPYRO?!?

Top TV Characters: Julie Cooper

THE MOTHER

Julie Cooper (The O.C.) played by Melinda Clarke

“When I was little, and a limousine would drive by, I would always try to see through the tinted windows. To see who the people were inside, what kind of life they lived, glamorous, and lucky. You were probably in there staring right back at me. Which means I've been jealous of you since I was eight.”

I’m always shocked by how many people dislike Julie Cooper. Despite perhaps the shows first season, Julie always had the best interest of others at heart. Yes, they benefitted her as well, but she was a protector. There were no means she would not meet to keep her family together.

 I think I adore Julie so much because I see her, not as the manipulative tyrant that Marissa sees her as, but as someone who genuinely cares for her and is trying to help (this may have something to do with my disdain for Marissa, but hey). Most of the things Julie does throughout the seasons is to protect her daughters, her friends or her (many, many, many) marriages. She is willing to give up being with the man she loves when her daughter prefers another suitor. Whilst Julie may see potential for personal gain in situations, she is definitely not selfish.

Julie is also such a survivor. She escaped a life of poverty, and even when she lost the money, she found any way she could to keep her family alive, even when it meant she had to go back to life in a trailer park. She may be the protective mother, but she is also a fighter. This is proved when she goes to Trey’s hospital bed in the third season, and with a gentle gesture, hints that she will not hesitate to kill him if he threatens her daughter’s life again. We know Julie has a rough exterior, but here we see a real dark side in Julie, and is not a sole instance in which we are aware of the lengths that Julie will go to fight.

The scene in which I feel really highlights Julie Cooper is in the third episode of season four.  After 6 months of anger towards her daughter’s death, Julie visits Ryan and simply asks him to tell her about Marissa. It’s such a contained scene, yet so emotionally charged. It is also one of the few instances in which we truly see the softer side of Julie,

Top TV Characters: Jackie Peyton

THE ADDICT

Jackie Peyton (Nurse Jackie) played by Edie Falco

“Make me good, God. But not yet.”

Ah, Nurse Jackie. I cannot describe to you how much I love this show.

 When beginning to write about Jackie I found it really hard to verbalise exactly what I loved about her character. Jackie is a pill-popping nurse who is cheating on her husband. However, she is so effortlessly feisty and hilarious that she is immediately endearing and I cannot help but root for her. After spending 2 days re-watching Nurse Jackie I went to the internet. I was actually surprised to see that many fans of the show really disliked Jackie’s character as she was so self-destructive. She wants to hit rock-bottom and even goes so far as to take her daughter‘s medication for a high. It then hit me; this is what I love about her. Whilst Jackie represents the Addict and the journey of the addict, her story and character are so un-clichéd. 

In so many stories about addiction, the Addict is shown to struggle with their addictions and possess a very present self-hatred. Jackie seems to be the opposite. She isn’t proud of her reliance on medication, but she definitely doesn’t loathe it. This is a woman who hides pills in her children’s Easter decorations!

Jackie isn’t the traditional idea of the mother, put forward by Florence Henderson as Carol Brady, but instead she is a lioness. She is so warm and nurturing towards her children, but when a threat approaches, she pounces. Even when that threat is a little girl, Jackie isn’t afraid to start throwing the ‘C-word’ around.

The scene in which I feel really encapsulates Jackie as a Character is one of the opening scenes in episode one of season two. She is shown as both the loving wife and mother, but also the aggressive and guilty lover. Edie Falco seems to switch so effortlessly between the two, but everything you need to know is in her eyes.

Top TV Characters: Carrie Bradshaw

THE WRITER

Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) played by Sarah Jessica Parker

 “I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.”

Carrie Bradshaw was a character that really represented the journey of maturity for me. When first introduced to Carrie she really shows the delusions of grandeur that come with youth; she believes she knows how the world works and the world validates this fantasy. It is only when she enters her first real relationship that she notices her insecurities and negative traits. She has ideas of what her relationship should be and how it looks on the outside and this is ultimately the catalyst for the destruction of the relationship. After 6 series with Carrie we see the relationships she endures shape her and she realises that what makes her mature is the recognition of her major flaws.

Another aspect of Carrie that really makes the character is Sarah Jessica Parker’s performance. Many people slate Parker for her acting ability but I truly believe she creates a unique and stand out performance as Carrie. It is never over the top and is mostly based on small nuances that bring reality to a character that, overall, should be deemed unlikable. From the very first scene of the TV show to the last scene of the second film, Parker knows Bradshaw. Even in the, let’s say…’shaky’ second film, Parker makes all of Carrie bad choices (damn those writers) believable, relatable and, most importantly, forgivable.

If I had to pick one favourite scene to highlight Carrie Bradshaw and Sarah Jessica Parker, it would be in episode 1 of season 3, where Carrie breaks down upon discovering that Big has re-married. It’s a truly emotional moment, but so contained, nuanced and, most crucially, real.